Today, I’m giving you the pleasure of meeting my new very awesome and close friend Anchel. We met by chance. Her daughter Syona also has Cerebral Palsy and we’re both a member of a cerebral palsy group on facebook. We began talking and we realized we live pretty close to each other. Bonus! I invited her to attend one of my “Parent Talk” sessions which occurs on the last Thursday of every month. Up until recently, Syona was on the wait list to see one of our awesome docs at Bloorview. And from that, a friendship was born.
As we’re getting to know each other, I learned that Anchel blogs over at Today’s Parent in their special needs section. Such a cool gig! I’m also forcing her (with love) to guest post here. I’m sure you’ll love her as much as I do. In the meantime, check out her latest post on “Dealing with Tough Days” (I thought I covered this subject before, but I was so wrong! So thanks for the material, hon!) Anchel also told me that she loves the Tweeter. (I find it nearly impossible to only have 140 characters!) Go follow her, she’s better at that twitter thing then I am.
So… How do I deal with the tough days? I have recently been preaching to newly inducted CP moms (or anyone really. lol) That when Jillian was first diagnosed at 13 months, I had plenty of those tough days. Hell, I didn’t even mutter the words cerebral palsy for a few weeks after diagnosis. I needed time to process and work things out in my mind. Now that we’re almost 3 years post diagnosis (wow!) I can say confidently those tough days are farther apart, although not completely gone. I doubt they’ll ever be completely gone.
Shortly after diagnosis, I was left raw, confused, somewhat angry and a little bitter. Those early days were spent in front of Google trying to figure out how I “fixed” this. Obviously there is no quick fix. During that bleary eyed time, I cried a lot, ate my feelings and just didn’t cope with life very well. I’m sure I was an absolute joy to be around.
Slowly but surely, I recognized that I didn’t feel sad anymore. I didn’t need to “fix” this. Jillian isn’t broken, just my thought process was. Now that I’m 3 years post diagnosis, the tough days are easier to handle. I usually end up blogging, talking to friends, shedding some tears and picking myself up and dusting myself off. Tomorrow is always a new day.
You don’t have to have a child with special needs to have tough days. We all experience them one way or another. So, what do you do to deal? What do you find helpful? I’m always looking for new ideas on how to handle mine.