Special Needs Sunday

(isn’t the new button cute?! The green is for Cerebral Palsy and the Silver for ALL disabilities. Thank you to the amazingly talented Rhea for the button!)

During last week’s edition, I was describing what milestones she was missing. When our appointment came up at Speech Language Pathology came up, Jillian was 9 months old. She still wasn’t saying much and I feared that we would be spending MANY hours with a speech path. She told me to hold up an object to my face, get Jillian to make eye contact and say the word of the object 3 times in three different inflections. Of course, *I* felt silly doing that, but judging by how much Jillian is talking now, I guess it was worth it!

When you have a preemie, you usually have to spend sometime in a Follow Up clinic. Basically they tell you how they’re progressing compared to their peers. I used to DREAD these appointments. There were 2 different doctors running the clinic. I usually got an appointment with Dr. Cheema. He would always focus on what Jillian WASN’T doing and not what she COULD do. So, here is my cute, underweight baby, laying there, looking adorable and FAILING milestone tests. Let me tell you how awesome THAT felt. Immediately, I was consumed with guilt. What did I do to cause this? Did I hold her too much? Is that crap about spoiling a baby actually TRUE?? Was I so neurotic that I wasn’t letting her become a “normal” child? (Now here’s the part in this post where you’re probably scratching your head and saying “Cheryl! NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU! GET OVER IT!”)

As mothers, we compare. Don’t even sit there and pretend you don’t. Hmmm… My kid is 12 weeks old and not smiling. So and so’s kid is smiling and they’re 8 weeks old! Maybe my kid has problems. Maybe that other kid is just advanced. WHY do we beat ourselves up?! Sometimes? Bad things happen to good people, vice versa and switch the words around. Somethings in life you just don’t have to understand.

Before diagnosis, I was always researching. I was always trying to find ways to make her catch up. I was trying to find SOMETHING, ANYTHING to get her back on track. It wasn’t uncommon for me to go into her pediatrician’s office and say “So…. I was googling”. I’ve realized NOW that I am a lot stronger than I ever gave myself credit. Jillian has taught me SO many things. It’s amazing how you find the strength within yourself and become a stronger person because of it.

Jillian was receiving physical therapy and occupational therapy once a week in our home. Since that began, I have had to fill out more paperwork, get into the nitty gritty of all her “needs” and become the best advocate I can be. I’ve also had to make some pretty tough decisions regarding services we were receiving. I finally realized that I DON’T have to get along with every service provider and not ALL service providers are going to work out with my family. I’ve also learned that Jillian is incapable of standing up for herself, so, I do it for her. It’s a dirty job (hey! Maybe I should call Mike Rowe!) but someone has to do it.

We’ll continue this next week! Onto other news!!

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We are now in week 2 of Movember. I’m thinking that I should be grateful Adam doesn’t grow facial hair quickly. He has also decided that he’s going to be sporting a trucker ‘stache. Ugh. Feel free to donate some pocket lint. http://ca.movember.com/

Adam last week-

Adam this week-

(It should be noted that it is by sheer accident that he’s wearing the same shirt 2 weeks in a row. I DO do the laundry, just saying!)

My girls decided to get in on the action

And Jillian- Usually I can’t get her to say ANYTHING on camera, she shuts off as soon as I pull it out!! In case you can’t hear what she’s saying through the giggling- it’s “I NEED THE MONEY!”