This was originally published on September 22, 2010, I am 1) trying an experiment and 2) I thought it was funny enough to bump. (plus… I haven’t blogged in a while. whoops)
Totally random, right? A little background… Most times during the day, my kids like to watch TV. Not excessively or anything, but sometimes more then I like! I bought a used TV for $25 to put downstairs in our rec room. Best $25 I ever spent. The girls play downstairs and I get to watch adult programming during the day! YAY! I decided to watch Dr. Oz today. Of course, I was chatting with Rhea when the show came on. Today’s show was all about vaginas. Here is our conversation about the mysterious “organ” (Dr. Oz’s words. Not mine) that all girls have. And according to The Bloggess some women have TWO vaginas. (Also? The top 10 myths about vaginas- what I linked, is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS)
Me- Dr. Oz is talking about vaginas today.
Rhea- yay vaginas
Me- I don’t usually watch this show… But since I bought the $25 TV, I can watch adult programming. LOL
apparently people don’t know about their vaginas.
Me- I know I have one…
does that count?
scary… there’s the OBGYN who designed a special microscope to look at the skin on vaginas.
that’s good tv
Me- dr. oz just told me to send my kids out of the room so we can talk about vaginas.
done and done, dr. oz.
Rhea- hahaha he must love his job
Me- I’ve never seen this show… I like the doctors though.
each part of your vagina is IMPORTANT. Um, alrighty then.
they’re calling a vagina an organ.
aren’t you glad I’m telling you all this?
He just brought out a VAGINA.
well… the inside stuff…..
Rhea- loving my vagina lesson
Me- he has this woman fingering a vagina.
Rhea- OMG wtf kinda show is that?
Me- I don’t know, I’m a little shocked. it’s like a train wreck, I can’t stop looking.
they just used opening a present as an analogy for a vagina.
Rhea- hahaha awesome
Me- your vaginal walls thin out when you turn 40. sucks to be you, Rhea.
Rhea- fuck you cheryl. not cool. not cool at all
i think my thin vagina works just fine
you are watching vaginas, i’m watching how they make egg rolls
Me- I think my vagina is the only thin thing on my body.
Rhea- no kidding
Me- do you have pain during intercourse? Get some estrogen tablets via a thing that looks like a pez dispenser.
Rhea- I’m hungry
i want egg rolls and pez
Me- you can also rub olive oil on your vagina. then you could smell like a salad or pasta.
Rhea- olive oil? Seriously….this is a blog post
Me- ATROPHE AT THE VAGINAL WALL?! WHAT? I know. (totally a good blog post!)
I should be taking better notes.
Rhea- you know how trisha posts her and Kims chats? I think this is shareworthy
Me- Now they’re using bowling as an analogy for orgasm.
I think it is too.
I’ll do it.
I’m totally tagging you too.
vaginal atrophe is bad.
does that happen with lack of use?
Me- LOL no! age! 40 is bad!
Me- pain during intercourse…
at 40 your rate of orgasms go down…
because of vaginal wall atrophe!
Rhea- well, i have 3 more years to have lots of orgasims then!
Me- Now, you can buy a VAGINAL DILATOR
Me- “use it or lose it”
it’s like your bicep…
Rhea- you’re making this shit up
Me- it’ll become saggy and weak
I’m not. I can’t make this shit up.
Rhea- nothing worse than a saggy and weak vagina
Me- Your pelvic floor can sag. Better do some kegals!
Can you imagine? “Hey doc… I think I have a saggy and weak vagina. I need some steriods.”
Rhea- did he say steroids would help?
Me- nope. the dialator would though…
I mean if something is saggy and weak, I think steriods would help, right? this is going to be the best blog post ever.
I’m going to get all kinds of freaks
Me- I can’t leave the living room now. I don’t want to miss anything about vaginas.
hope the girls don’t kill each other.
Rhea- can a vibrator be a dialator?
(At this point… Rhea left me to go do something important. But, I kept talking to myself about vaginas…)
Me- I wonder if penis’ can be dialators.
ooooh Road map to an orgasm!
do you know your anatomy?
“hard to get help for it, if you don’t know the terms”
You can’t just say “my baby maker hurts”??
Or “Love canal?”
vulva… Such a weird word. Why does vagina sound like a disease?
vagina is a TUNNEL!
now I’m talking to myself…
“Clitoris, vestibule, labia minora”
I’ve never heard of a vestibule….
if you want to have an orgasm, you need to know where your vestibule is. .
Lauren just came up and said “Jillian’s being mean to me.” I said “I’ll be right there. I’m doing very important research”
ooooh the vestibule is the entrance….
why didn’t they just say entrance?
if a medicatation has “dry mouth” as a side effect, it’ll dry out your vagina too
I don’t like talking about vaginas without you…. where’d you go?
aw, boo… vagina talk is over… now it’s about bunions.
my spell check doesn’t recognize “vaginas”
Rhea- he went from vaginas to BUNIONS?
anthony’s teacher called….
i have to go do some school with him
i’m a bad teacher
(Rhea is homeschooling… I think she should teach Anthony about vaginas. Very important business here)
So, there’s our talk about vaginas. Aren’t you glad I enlightened you a bit??
(Thanks Andy from The Creative Junkie for the picture…)