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Dear Jillian

I remember in the not so distant future that I wrote a letter to your sister, I did the same for you now. My letter to Lauren was: The Strength Comes From Within and now, I need to do one for you. (After all, I am an equal opportunity mother and all)

Dearest Jillian,

Wow! You are almost 2. I can’t believe my little 3 lb 9 oz girl is a “toddler”. You made us a family of four, gave Lauren a big sister and gave your Daddy and I someone else to love.

I’m sure you’ll be told this story quite a lot as you grow up, but I figured I needed to publish it. From the beginning of our journey together (at about 12 weeks gestation) I opted to get some blood work done to make sure everything was fine. (I keep reminding EVERYONE that I wouldn’t have done anything with the results, Daddy and I just needed to know so we’d be prepared) I went ahead with an amniocentesis and the fun didn’t stop there. Everything was fine after that test, but you decided you need to join our family early. 10 weeks in fact thus making me wonder if I was actually cut out for this motherhood thing.

Just look at how far you’ve come!

You, my beautiful brown eyed girl have fought SO hard for everything! I sometimes wonder if YOU feel sad about your “disability” that you can’t run, jump, walk like all the other kids. You have kept us on our toes from day one.

Now that you have been diagnosed, the 1 year mark for that is quickly approaching too (October 22) you have taught me SO much in a short amount of time. You have given me confidence to grab medical issues by the horns and educate other people about Cerebral Palsy. (amongst SO much more!)

You have a wonderful outlook, you even joke about walking. “Mommy! look at me! I’m walking” to which I replied “Really, Jillian?! Show me!” you then said “I so silly! I don’t walk!” I posted it as my facebook status. Some people felt sad for you, I felt happy. I felt that if YOU can joke about it, then we could too.

Don’t get me wrong, our life is not sunshine and rainbows. I’m riddled with “what ifs” and “this sucks” when I see you in pain, or discouraged or anything like that. But, you, baby girl, I wouldn’t have traded you for the world. I now know that I am stronger then I ever anticipated I could be. You’re the one who taught me that. I hope I am teaching you enough in return.

Thank you for being the icing on OUR family cake. I know there will be days that you hate me or Daddy or Lauren, but we are a family and I think we can get through anything together!

All of my love forever,
Mommy
Don’t get me wrong,




Comments

  1. You have me CRYING. Damn once you become a mother you are so emotional. It’s a beautiful letter! I can’t believe how tiny she was! You are a great mother Cheryl and one day Jillian is going to thank you for being a great mother and advocating for her! It’s rough at 2 for any kid, I’m sure Hunter hated me a ton of times, and still does. I’m glad she can joke about her disease and not being able to walk, it’s good to have humor! It will keep her going and your family.

  2. Another beautiful letter. You are a great mom. and so correct that humor is needed in life to make it through the things that just are not fair or fun. There will be hard times, but your love & support that you show for your family is very evident. As young kids they don’t know this, but they can feel the love & respect goes both ways. You are an inspiration to even old moms like me. **hugs**
    Faythe recently posted..Brett is Back! Its time for Football!

  3. Love that she is the icing on your family cake. <3

  4. Beautiful!
    Bethany Larrabee recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – My baby girl turns 2 today!

  5. It’s hard to typed through my watery eyes. Jillian is certainly a percious little girl.
    Robin recently posted..The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That- Wings and Things – Review and Giveaway

  6. What a beautiful post for a sweet little girl. It’s good she has a sense of humor and that you girls can play around. You are such a loving mom…and I am so touched by your post.

  7. What a beautiful post!

  8. Sooooo sweet! I love this. Amazing.
    Brandy recently posted..Crest Pro-Health Complete Rinse Test Drive

  9. That was absolutely the sweetest thing ever! I love both your and Jillian’s outlooks on life you both seem to acknowledge her disability, but have grown so much stronger because of it! She is so lucky to have a mommy like you as is Lauren!
    Allison recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Tattooed Bad Boys!

  10. What a beautiful letter Cheryl!
    Cary recently posted..Gotcha

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