I remember in the not so distant future that I wrote a letter to your sister, I did the same for you now. My letter to Lauren was: The Strength Comes From Within and now, I need to do one for you. (After all, I am an equal opportunity mother and all)
Wow! You are almost 2. I can’t believe my little 3 lb 9 oz girl is a “toddler”. You made us a family of four, gave Lauren a big sister and gave your Daddy and I someone else to love.
I’m sure you’ll be told this story quite a lot as you grow up, but I figured I needed to publish it. From the beginning of our journey together (at about 12 weeks gestation) I opted to get some blood work done to make sure everything was fine. (I keep reminding EVERYONE that I wouldn’t have done anything with the results, Daddy and I just needed to know so we’d be prepared) I went ahead with an amniocentesis and the fun didn’t stop there. Everything was fine after that test, but you decided you need to join our family early. 10 weeks in fact thus making me wonder if I was actually cut out for this motherhood thing.
You, my beautiful brown eyed girl have fought SO hard for everything! I sometimes wonder if YOU feel sad about your “disability” that you can’t run, jump, walk like all the other kids. You have kept us on our toes from day one.
Now that you have been diagnosed, the 1 year mark for that is quickly approaching too (October 22) you have taught me SO much in a short amount of time. You have given me confidence to grab medical issues by the horns and educate other people about Cerebral Palsy. (amongst SO much more!)
You have a wonderful outlook, you even joke about walking. “Mommy! look at me! I’m walking” to which I replied “Really, Jillian?! Show me!” you then said “I so silly! I don’t walk!” I posted it as my facebook status. Some people felt sad for you, I felt happy. I felt that if YOU can joke about it, then we could too.
Don’t get me wrong, our life is not sunshine and rainbows. I’m riddled with “what ifs” and “this sucks” when I see you in pain, or discouraged or anything like that. But, you, baby girl, I wouldn’t have traded you for the world. I now know that I am stronger then I ever anticipated I could be. You’re the one who taught me that. I hope I am teaching you enough in return.
Thank you for being the icing on OUR family cake. I know there will be days that you hate me or Daddy or Lauren, but we are a family and I think we can get through anything together!
All of my love forever,
Don’t get me wrong,